In The Waiting Line
by alastingimpression
Summary: Ruthie Camden has become something she's not. How did she get there and why is she so angry with herself? Shifts from present, past, and future. Please R&R. Chapter Two up!
1. Prologue

**IN THE WAITING LINE.**

_BY: A-LASTING-IMPRESSION_

**Title: In The Waiting Line  
Type: 7th Heaven Fan Fiction  
Rating: PG-13 (Sex, Alcohol, Drugs, Violence)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of 7th Heaven. I do own all my original characters and this story, though. Don't take.  
Summary: Ruthie Camden has become something she's not. How did she get there and why is she so angry with herself? Shifts from present, past, and future. Please R&R. **

**ABOUT THIS STORY.**

Hello readers. There are a few things about this story that contradict some stuff that has happened on the show. For one, the episode Hungry did not happen. This story takes place as if Ruthie and Vincent have just broken up. Also, on 7th Heaven, Martin **does not **like Zoe. In this story, he does. Also, in this story Mary has not left Carlos and Charles. The story takes place as if they're happy in New York. I ask that you give this story a chance. It's confusing in some parts, but everything will be explained eventually. It's also very "un-Camdenlike" and even though it contains a clique in this first chapter, please give it a chance! Enjoy and please review.

**ALSO: This story is a bit adult, but not graphic enough to fit into the M category. Be warned that it contains depitions of sex, drugs, alcohol, and possible mild swearing. The rating may be upped, but I'll warn you before that.**

**PROLOGUE.**

The clock ticked with every second that she waited. Her heart skipped every other beat. She stared at the strip with impatient eyes. Her brain pleaded that this wasn't happening. She wished it would all go away. Her hand trembled as she held the small instrument that would determine her future from now to forever. She gulped. That's when the strip turned pink. Frantically, she jumped for the box and read the directions.

1. Open applicator.

2. Urinate on applicator.

3. Wait five to ten minutes for process.

Pink: Pregnant

Blue: Not Pregnant

Her heart sank. The box and applicator dropped from her shaking fingers and hit the ground, causing two quiet thuds that sounded like thunder to her ears. When had everything gotten this bad? She remembered that two days ago, everything was fine. No one saw the pain that covered her face and had been covering it for months. She wasn't a slut - she'd never admit that she was, even if she was.

Here she was: pathetic, alone, and afraid. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she slid down the bathroom wall. She felt like crawling into fetal position and staying there until she starved to death, but knew that she couldn't. All the knowledge in the world had become evident in her life since she'd hit rock bottom. No one would ever experience this pain. Why had things gone the way they did? She walked the streets every night; making money was hard, but not as hard as facing her family every night when she got home. She smelled of sweat and the mascara that had once graced her eyelashes clotted on her cheeks and neck. No one ever asked.

Even though she could count on one hand the number of boyfriends she'd slept with, she had to use two hands to count the number of guys who'd paid her to sleep with them. She wasn't proud, but when you need money and have nothing to lose, you'll do anything. Every time she slept with one, she added him to her mental list. She smelled like every guy she'd been with, only one of which she'd actually been in love with. But she wouldn't talk about him. He was gone long before this got out of hand.

What was she trying to prove by being promiscuous? Maybe her point was that no guy could ever take advantage of her. _She'd _take advantage of _them_. It was stupid, she realized, but too late to call for Mommy now. Mommy was only one of the thousands of people who'd be disappointed in her once the truth came out. It had to come out eventually because she had no place to go but home. Here she was, at home, but it didn't feel like home anymore. It felt like the house was mocking her, scolding her. It felt like everyone on earth, even those she'd never met, was disappointed in her. They should be, she decided. She was disappointed in herself.

A knock at the door startled her. She couldn't leave yet. She never wanted to leave the bathroom stall and face this world that's bound to kill her eventually. Everyday that she lives she gets worn down even more. A small sigh escaped her lips. Her hands ached from trying to retrain the fierce shaking and her lips quivered from crying. Why did this have to happen to her?

After wiping her tears away from her face and freshening up, she got rid of the test by hiding it under mounds of trash in the bathroom trashcan. Then, calmly, Ruthie Camden stepped out of her comfort zone and into the uninviting air of the Camden house, where Eric stood outside the bathroom door. She didn't even cast a glance his way, but ran in the other direction instead. If only to get far from this place and find a home safe in the waiting line.


	2. Muses in May

**IN THE WAITING LINE.**

_BY: A-LASTING-IMPRESSION_

**Title: In The Waiting Line  
Type: 7th Heaven Fan Fiction  
Rating: PG-13 (Sex, Alcohol, Drugs, Violence)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of 7th Heaven. I do own all my original characters and this story, though. Don't take.  
Summary: Ruthie Camden has become something she's not. How did she get there and why is she so angry with herself? Shifts from present, past, and future. Please R&R. **

**NOTES.**

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you've read it. ;)

Daisuke-n-Dark- I appreciate your review. I'm glad you like the story and I'm thankful for the constructive critisism. There's no dialogue in this chapter either, but expect a lot in the chapters to come. I'm obsessed with dialogue and have been trying to get away from that so much. I'm also glad you mentioned the rating. I'm leaving it T for now because it's not graphic, but I'll post a warning in the prologue and the rating may up eventually. Thanks for that!

**CHAPTER ONE: MUSES IN MAY.**

_May, 2005 -- Ruthie_

He broke up with me. I don't know what I did wrong. I thought that I'd been a good girlfriend, but maybe I was just kidding myself. He probably goes for the more popular girls. It seems like those are the only kinds of girls that guys are interested in these days. Maybe it's always been like that. I'm not sure, but it makes me angry. It's sad that in high school, everything is one big popularity contest. When I say everything, I'm not exaggerating. When the school was having elections for class offices for next year, everyone laughed at the serious-minded kids and promoted the popular kids. Who won? Take a big, fat guess. That's right, Elaine Moore.

Elaine is the most popular girl in school and has been since I can remember. I don't have any problems with her personally, but I've heard from reliable sources that she's a real bitch. I've also heard that she's slept with most of the student body. I don't know why guys go for the easy girls. I guess it makes them feel more satisfied physically, but I think it's stupid. Those aren't the kind of girls that guys are going to want to marry and have children with someday. Then again, do I want to get married and have children? That seems to be what ruined my own mom's life. She says she has no regrets about her choices in life, but sometimes I wonder if she's really telling the truth. Mom used to be different, but lately she's changed. I don't believe that it's all menopause crap that made her change. I think she's starting to have those 'what if' questions rise in her mind. If I was her, so would I.

People make fun of me because I'm the 'preacher's kid'. I don't want to be the preacher's kid forever. Sure, it's cool that my dad helps other people with their problems. After awhile, though, it gets annoying that he's always at the church. I can't remember a Sunday that I didn't go to church. Other kids don't even go to church. I like church, but I wish I didn't have the pressure of having to go every single Sunday. Since I'm a teenager now, I'm expected to 'help out' with everything. I can't even drive yet, but I basically know how to run a church.

I'm not a normal teenage girl. Maybe that's why Vincent ended it. I really liked him. I guess I didn't think that he'd be my true love, but having a boyfriend was the closest I'd ever come to being normal. I don't know why I wanted to be normal so much, but it seemed to be what I strived for more. I'm like a freak in my own town. Mary and Lucy were dating when they were younger than me. Maybe it's because I always seemed like the baby that it's so uncomfortable for me to be growing up. The thing that my family doesn't understand is that I want to grow up. I want to grow up more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. If I could, I'd get on a plane today and fly to God knows where just to get away from family and Glen Oak for once.

Mac is visiting Martin. They're probably studying or talking about girls in his apartment. Part of me wishes that Martin hadn't moved into the garage apartment. I liked it when Mac would come over to the house. At night, when most everyone was asleep, I would sneak to Martin's door and listen to them talk. They never talked about me, though. Then again, why would they mention me? I'm just the minister's daughter. That's probably all I am to them. That's probably the only reason they're even nice to me. Maybe they feel sorry for me because I have Eric Camden for a father. Thinking about it now, I would feel sorry for me too if I was in their shoes.

Maybe if I acted like all the other girls at school, Vincent or Mac would like me again. If I dressed like them and wore more makeup, would I be more attractive to them? Guys always go for the pretty girls with the blonde hair and the big boobs. If I dyed my hair blonde and got implants, would I be a magnet for guys? Probably not. I'm still the minister's daughter. It's not like I'd completely change myself for a guy, but what if I just changed small things? Maybe I should try putting myself out there a little more. Maybe it will work. Maybe I'll become the girl that all the guys, including Vincent, want and dream about. Maybe I'll be that girl for once in my stupid life. Maybe, maybe.


	3. For Better or Worse

**IN THE WAITING LINE.**

_**BY: A-LASTING-IMPRESSION**_

**Title: In The Waiting Line  
Type: 7th Heaven Fan Fiction  
Rating: PG-13 (Sex, Alcohol, Drugs, Violence)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of 7th Heaven. I do own all my original characters and this story, though. Don't take.  
Summary: Ruthie Camden has become something she's not. How did she get there and why is she so angry with herself? Shifts from present, past, and future. Please R&R. **

**NOTES:**

**Yeah.. I definitely haven't updated this in ages. Where does the time go? Ha. Anyway, if you're still interested, here's another chapter. Please review. Also, it may move too fast for a couple of chapters, but I'll try and make it even out. Enjoy.**

**CHAPTER TWO: FOR BETTER OR WORSE.**

_Monday: May 9, 2005_

A calm passed over Ruthie's body as she entered the building for yet another day of school. Martin was somewhere behind her, locking the car. As far as she was concerned, this was the first day of the rest of her life. Nothing was noticeable yet, but it was all about attitude. Ruthie wore her hair straight and parted to the side in a low ponytail. She'd added a tiny bit of extra makeup around her eyes and some noticeable lip gloss that radiated a slight orange glow. She wore a white polo with green trim with jean capri's and white flip flops. Although it was nothing new or different, she reminded herself that it was, in fact, all about attitude.

As soon as Ruthie's ears fell upon the sound of teenagers socializing, she saw a new opportunity. All high school girls craved to be liked by the guys. Ruthie was no different. She marched to her locker and waved a couple out of her way. She twisted the lock, pulled, and opened the locker with no effort. She scrambled around for a bit, switching books in her bag and reapplying her lip gloss in the mirror at the back of the locker. She closed it, made sure the lock didn't open, and was about to walk to her first period class when Vincent approached her.

"Ruthie," Vincent greeted her, his everlasting smile intact. Ruthie breathed in and could smell the sweet scent of his cologne mixing with her perfume to create a wondrous smell she'd never encountered. Surely this was fate. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Ruthie shrugged, remembering that attitude was key, "I have nothing better to do. But if you make me late for first period, I'll kill you." Easy as pie.

"Don't worry about that," Vincent replied, his smile shining, "We can talk on the way there."

"Lead the way," Ruthie suggested, sighing at the right moment and smiling a fake smile. Vincent could tell that she was irritated -- he _had_ broken up with her, after all, so she had an excuse to be.

"I realize that you're probably pretty angry with me right now," Vincent informed her. Ruthie nodded, but said nothing. He realized? Was this because it was obvious she'd be angry since he broke up with her or because her body language said so? She secretly prayed for the latter. "And I know you were upset when I broke up with you. I just don't want there to be any hard feelings."

Ruthie was confused. Why would he make a point to pull her away from her locker to wish her well? To become friends? He made it sound like he had something important to say when he'd approached her, and Ruthie had prepared for the worst. But this?

"That's it?" Ruthie asked, knowing there had to be more. Vincent's face indicated defeat and she knew she'd caught him. He was trying to butter her up, she realized. He was trying to get her in a good mood before dropping some kind of bomb on her. "What is it Vincent?" she asked after a moment of silence. She stopped walking toward first period, not really caring about being late anymore.

"People are talking," he explained.

"People always talk, Vincent," Ruthie reminded him, "What are they talking about?" Her heart pounded: was there a rumor going around about her?

"I kind of told the guys that we had sex," Vincent explained. Ruthie's eyes went wide. "I didn't come out and say it, but I left that impression. I just wanted to act cool. All the other couples are doing it, and I figured it wouldn't hurt you. Then they started to talk."

"Who did you tell?" Ruthie asked, her voice loud. She was hurt, and had every right to be. For once since he broke up with her, Ruthie was glad.

"You know, the guys.." Vincent's voice trailed off.

"The guys. That tells me a lot. Let me guess, your horny geek friends who think they're everything because they slept with the random slut of the moment?" Ruthie asked.

"They're my _friends_, Ruthie!" Vincent retorted. Ruthie gave him a look of disgust.

"Some friends they are if they talk about your girlfriend like that. Honestly, Vincent, what got into you?" Ruthie was practically yelling, but didn't really seem to care who was watching. Attitude is everything. She'd pretty much mastered that rule by now.

"I don't know! Please stop yelling. People are watching," Vincent pleaded, but Ruthie didn't care. In her mind, it was just her and Vincent.

"People are going to think I'm a _whore_, Vincent!" Ruthie exclaimed. Suddenly, with more courage than she's ever had, she reached up and slapped Vincent clean across the face. She hit him so hard that her own hand burned. The imprint on his face was immediate. People all around stopped to watch. By now, Ruthie's eyes had filled with tears. She thought she knew him better than that. Apparently she didn't. Ruthie, overcome with emotions, made her way to the bathroom in tears.

She sat on the seat of the toilet for fifteen minutes before she remembered first period. She'd never skipped, but how could she honestly face her classmates? Her friends had probably heard about this by now. Diane, a Christian friend, would probably disown her. All of her guy friends would probably smart off with dirty comments. All of them except Wes, whom she'd been trying to impress since she met him. What would Martin say?

More importantly, would anyone believe her when she said it was a lie? They'd probably think that since she's the preacher's kid, she'd want to cover up her sins. Vincent's an honest guy, they'd think, but Ruthie's sisters have a reputation for lying and having numerous boyfriends. Tears fell in black streaks on her face. Pity she'd worn more makeup today.

After another ten minutes, a brilliant idea struck Ruthie. What if she didn't let everyone know it was a lie? What if she let everyone think she'd lost her virginity to Vincent? Guys liked easy girls, and if they thought she was easy, maybe she'd gain popularity. She knew in her heart that she wasn't, and that's really all that mattered anyway.

Even if it did get around to her parents or family, Ruthie could deny it and prove she didn't do anything and that it was all a rumor. They wouldn't know that she endorsed it herself unless they paid a visit to school. Besides, going along with something isn't necessarily _endorsing_ it, is it?

Ruthie's mind was racing 100 mph as she tried her hardest to come to a conclusion, solution, anything to help her. If people are talking, they're not going to stop talking because she denied anything. So why deny it at all? It's always just going to be Ruthie's word against Vincent's, so why should she try to stop the rumors? It'd just be wasting her time and energy when she could probably benefit from it eventually anyway.

Maybe they wouldn't think she's a whore. A girl who sleeps with a guy isn't a whore unless she does it continually with numerous guys. That's the definition. So why should Ruthie worry about her reputation? Maybe Vincent was actually doing her some good while doing himself some as well. She could handle the rumors.


End file.
